Where to begin...
After taking a bit of a summer blogging break that has now lasted into fall, I thought a great kick-off-welcome-back-to-blogging-world entry was going to be celebrating an announcement that we were expecting baby number three. Instead, as my own heart broke in two, I had to watch as the ultrasound tech could not find the baby’s heartbeat at my 10 week appointment. Since then, I’ve been debating about what to write on this here blog. I have missed writing. Although I often feel one step behind in keeping up with it all, I have missed capturing photographs and tidbits of what goes on in our often crazy life with two small children. To pick that back up without mentioning our heartache felt wrong. But to not blog about Grayson turning four, or our recent fall family beach trips, or about how Finley has grown into a toddler in the blink of an eye, to not blog about all of that felt wrong too. We want this blog to be a place where we document our family life. Where we can look back and say, remember how the Lord was good and faithful to us?
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18. Six weeks ago I made a choice when I had to wait for the midwife to explain the ultrasound, that no matter what she said when she walked in that door, I was going to stand firm on the truth that the Lord is good and that He loved me (and our family) no matter what. Since then I continue to battle for that choice, to focus on what I know to be true and right, and to not get caught up in what I can’t understand. It is a battle for sure. So here we are. I want to get back to blogging again. Even in the middle of all of this, the easy days and the not so easy days, I want to write about the little things so I can teach my heart to be thankful. Because it could use a little teaching on that right now. We are celebrating that one day when we get to see Jesus face to face, we will also meet this little one. We will continue to celebrate here in the everyday moments of our life together as a family until that sweet day arrives.
by millie smith